sick of phone calls

sorry dear.
im not falling asleep.
im not busy with my exam.
im not doing anything.
and just staring at your phone calls.
9 missed calls.
i didnt pick up the calls.
i hate myself for being that timid.
i hate phone calls.
really hate.
and i dont know the reason.
i hate my past.
the memories that tied me for so long.
i love you.
but there's a wall in my heart.
that blocking me to be more close with you
sorry
im really sorry.
im not good enough
to be the one in your heart.